#9: Spewwww.

I've been just ranting and randomly entering little reminders for myself on Twitter. Thing with Twitter that we all know is that you're sharing it with everyone. I do that with the reason that maybe people can relate. I'm not perfect, I state that and I know that for a fact, but there are plenty of things that I just do not agree on.

Over the course of the past 2-3 years I've taken a lot of what I've experienced and put them together. Noticing that some of what I've allowed to happen before is replaying itself. Maybe I'm not doing my best at not allowing it to happen, but I am trying to handle it differently this time around. It's not always successful and there are times that I completely lose my mind, but I do know that it's not going to be okay.

People think abuse is just in the form of physically being hit. We forget that abuse can be mental and emotional. No one should do that to anyone and there is a thin line between it. If you curse someone out for how you feel about them, that is not abuse that is you completely over things with them and fed up. Now if you are cursing them out on a day to day to make them feel less of themselves, that is emotional abuse. There are people so blind to what they're doing because they are always so far up their own ass that they never know, but they do do it. It's hard to tell someone who always thinks they're right about themselves. Me? It's hard to tell me about myself because then I'll begin to pin-point all the bull shit you do too and need to know. I make it a back and forth.

No one likes to hear about themselves. It's one thing to hear and make changes, it's another thing to hear and then just go back to your old bull shit. Everyone is flawed and the hardest thing is to hear from someone that they're completely disappointed in you, especially if it's someone you deeply care for.

There's just so much that relates to abuse and how people like to completely take advantage of people. I don't like when it's done by those who claim to be your friends, that is the worst. If they're not doing it to you, trust me they're doing it to someone else. It's so easy for them to manipulate you, they're friend, imagine someone who isn't even a "friend" yet. But that's the fault of someone else for being so naive.

I keep reminding myself that I have sacrificed so much and made things happen thanks to me and my love and support system. I tell myself that you have to send that simple "I love you" and "Thank you" to those who have done nothing but held you down and helped you. Those things mean so much so you're never taking anyone for granted. I learned though that you can't expect that from everyone, especially the people who you have provided it all for and bent backwards for because those people might be too caught up in themselves.

The point of this? Just to share thoughts. If you write something and someone is offended, maybe the shoe fits. Don't change yourself for anyone, change for yourself. If anything you should just give less of yourself to someone who isn't worthy of it. It is not okay to be taken advantage of and abused. Those who matter will show you they care. They won't do it because they want something in return and want to use you in the long run. People who show you love here and there, if you feel off by it, maybe it's because they're doing it in order to get you around.

Live according to you and know that it is all an experience that you can only take it and learn from it.

#7: Three Sundays Ago....

Simply put my girlfriend took me on a random date. Food in downtown Long Beach and Lil' Tokyo in LA. Just doing some things all for the hell of it.

Also want to thank everyone who has contribute to SmallChicksBigEats and the venture to IFBC. It means a lot to know that people are supporting Jes and myself in getting there and making #SCBE something bigger than just our love for food and food blog. If you want to see our updates check out our GoFundMe and Twitter for any up to date info.

I've Lost My Mind Plenty....

& this quote fits what goes on with me perfectly!

T i m e  h e a l s  a l l .

Very true in many forms. I've lost my mind, myself & everything that comes along with sanity. I know I'm crazy, but even by being crazy & this weirdo, I'm happy! There are times where stress does get the best of me, where people are complete disappointments, where I am not on the up & up; but damn....it feels so good to know that I can find my happy place.

I've done so many things to reach that point. I've found so many ways to relieve stress, to be happy, to just look at the bigger picture. I am not perfect & I know this. I do what I have to do & continue to do it because it's what has to be done. Those who can not stay true to who they are, who let so many things change them & can not continue to stick to things - those are people who will lose themselves. Being crazy is who I am. I don't think I am sane, even though a lot of times it seems so. I am out of control, loose at the mouth, but at the end of the day I'm me. I hold it together as best as I can & I've started not caring about a lot of things that can not be changed. I can not change people & their priorities & how much they suck. I can not change the weather, nor can I change how the world works. All I can do is adapt, accept it & continue about my day to day.

Although I love to evaluate all of it; question, wonder, think of what was said & done - I will not allow it to get the best of me. People will no longer get the best of me. Feelings will be feelings in that moment & something I will have to overcome. If I lose out, I lose out. There will be something that comes along to just replace that loss.

I have been more to myself, more focused on hobbies (ie: food blog). I've met new people, gotten to know people I do better & learned who holds what place in my life. Some people have been demoted & I am absolutely ok with that. Their actions, their words, where I'm at, what I do, it all doesn't seem to fit one another. Life is like a puzzle piece we are trying to figure out and put together. Just know, everyone will also have that missing piece. If it's not that missing piece they will always have a piece they are trying their best to fit in.

T h i n k  a b o u t  i t !

Don't ever doubt what your mind and heart are capable of. Do it because it feels right, but know that whatever decision you make there are occurrences/consequences that then follow. Don't want to stay true to you work, don't want to keep promises, want to put whomever helped you get to where you are aside, want to act like you're better, want to not care - it all comes with something.

My mind randomly typing it all up.

- Ahlexandria

9th Month of the Year.

Summer is over & the fall is rolling in. I ended summer properly. I have several pictures for upcoming posts that I can't wait to share. Also have posts lined up ready to be posted. 

I've been on a "stay-cation" over in Long Island at Mom's house. It was nice to be away, spend time with my lady & see the people I grew up with. Family is important! I have always been the outcast not wanting to spend time with family, but this year I've made it a priority. I try to see my mom once a month, see my brother for his important days & when we can get together & spend time with my cousins. Two of my cousins are my closest friends & I have made that effort to not only always keep in touch with them but see them when our schedules allow it.

The time away from the apartment was nice. The things I usually do; cooking, taking out the trash, trying to stay on top of things - those are things I didn't have to worry about this week. Before I left the apartment I cleaned it up, took out trash that Sunday & made sure there was nothing much Steff had to do except stay on top of it. It's nice to have an easy going vacation with no much worries. I didn't have to cook this entire week, worry about chores (except personal ones that had to be done while out here) & all I had to do was let it all go. Everything that has happened this summer, the tension that is there with people, just stress...I've set it all side or let it go. It's about mutual respect & staying true to who you are & what you promised. Not everyone can do that, so those are people who you shrug off.

I've gone out, I'm done some DIY projects, I've tanned after not being at the beach since Costa Rica. But more than anything, I spend time the past two weeks with the ones I love. Catching up with old friends was nice. To see how things have changed over the years. To rehash the memories we had & just share the good ol' times. This little get away was much needed. As much as I can hope for things to get better, there to be less stress - all I want is for people to step it up where need be. But hey, if they can't then I am absolutely fine with it, it is me at the end of the day.

A new month is supposed to bring about new goals. I have plenty of them, but I honestly rather share the goal through a blog when I actually do it. This month there is plenty planned & I have already started that by freeing myself, getting some projects done, feeling just a little above normal.

I hope that you all have your fall goals ready! Very proud to see you all back in school, your babies going to school, just things coming together for a lot of us who were down in the dumps. Positive thinking, hopes & wishes can bring out positive outcome. Don't ever forget what you can accomplish!

Stay tuned for some upcoming posts!

xo - Ahlexandria

Burnt Our Fingers!

Although we did, the meal came out better than we imagined. Even though we tried sticking to using the whole wheat wraps to create our delicious meal and it ended up messy, we definitely loved the outcome.

I always get recipes from AllRecipes.Com & this one happened to be one I was interested in. We had to switch it up, as we always do & try something completely different. There are times where we make the same concept, but change it up with the seasonings.

Tonight's meal was shredded chicken tacos. There's tons of ways to make shredded chicken, but we had a preseasoned chicken in a bone in the bag. They're delicious because honestly if you're in a rush all you have to do is thaw it & throw it in the oven. I had to season it myself though to give it the extra flavor I like. It's really simple to make, just need to have the time & the patience. You don't have to follow the recipe exactly, they are there to just give you ideas. Adding whatever spices, vegetables you like & giving it your own touch. Obviously I didn't make tacos like the recipe & I made it a bit healthier.

Not only did we cook a new meal today, especially the delicious meal Steff made us for lunch. But once again we wrote our goals for the week. Continuing with some of last weeks goals I added:

• Continue to take part in A.Keys photo challenges.
• Blog at least two more times this week.
• Buy something under $5.
• Thrift!

I think they're pretty fair on top of the same ones from last week. Pushing myself to stay focused on the goals also helps me keep my mind off of things.

What are you goals for this week?

What are some meals you've been interested in cooking?

Fridge Love!

Steff & I have two dry-erase stick on boards on our fridge. One of them is a calender that is on the front to mark what is due, the trash/recycle dates, anything important, or even in the notes section what we need to buy. It helps us keep track of everything, as well as what needs to be done. On the side of the fridge where our stove is there is a blank one. We used to write down quotes, which we throw on here & there, but now we write down our goals for the week.

We have been trying to figure out positive ways to keep ourselves on track:

1) Taking your "work" clothes, or the clothes you wore that day off when you get in helps you throw everything prior to being in your relaxing state out of the window. You don't have to worry much or fret about "Ugh! Fucking aggravated" without being in a more comfortable & relaxed state. Definitely something I suggest a lot of people to do.

2) Being able to write up a schedule for yourself for the week on what you want to accomplish. We have found it very helpful. Each Sunday while cooking dinner we write down what it is we want to do. Steff does such a great job while I'm cooking dinner. We kill two birds with one stone.

• Working out at least 4 times this week. - It is important to stay healthy. I cook healthy food, but that just isn't enough some times. Any activity that involves exercise, even a 15 minute walk counts. Walking to the train, walking from the train, walking city blocks, walking up & down the stairs instead of the escalator. It's all about changing up certain habits & making them work for you. While I am cooking I will work out on the side. It just helps me do everything that I need to.
• Finish book by the end of the week. - I just finished Point Of Retreat by Colleen Hoover. It's the sequel to the book Slammed. It's very good, must say. Already started to continue on another book since I finished that one so quick. Almost 12 books in the past 2 months! Gives me an outlet.
• Cook a new meal. - I've been trying to switch it up entirely & just try new things. I ended up making a cabbage/veggie dish for this week that came out great. I really should start posting my meals.
• Yoga 1x - It's a way of exercising, but also helps relieve tension. Tension is something I have a lot of lately, that and stress. I'm just trying to find tons of ways to keep myself sane.
• Take pills every day! - Vitamins, supplement pills, whatever it is that you take to keep a healthy lifestyle is important. Some times we are in such a rush that we forget. I had to remind myself "TAKE THE DAMN PILLS!". So between pills for my stomach my doctor suggested to help one of my health issues, to women's vitamins, I am doing what it takes & hopefully it all works out well.

What are some goals you wanted to reach this week? If you could create a list of goals what would they be?

Slackers Of All Slackers!

The sunset along the beach of our hotel (RIU Guanacaste) Costa Rica.

Can't deny how much of a blogging slacker I am. But what can I say...I get busy, I get lost, there are times that I just don't know what to say. I've been trying to figure out what to write about but honestly what is it that will keep readers interested? Then I remember, BE MY DAMN SELF! So here I go making all the attempts again....

My golden birthday was on the 24th of May. Golden birthday = the year you turn the age of the date you were born. To think that I'm really 24...lets hope I can look 21 & under. lol. As always I go away with my friend Milly, as tradition, to a new country each year. This year Steff came along with us which was pretty damn fun. I always plan where to go & what I love is that who I travel trusts where I choose & are always down for it! This year I chose Costa Rica.

Costa Rica is a country filled of rain forests, volcanoes, friendly people & beautiful wildlife. It was interesting to learn that they do not have four seasons like we do, but two. They have a dry season where everything is brown, then a rainy season where it can rain for four days straight. We ended up going during the cusp of both of their seasons. So while we were there it did rain, but we definitely ended up catching plenty of sun. Not only did we tan, we enjoyed our all inclusive drinks by the pool & unlimited food. Steff even built up the courage to zipline through the rain forest, which included a close to a mile long water slide in the rain forest, horse back riding to the other side of the rain forest & a spa like finale. We were literally in the steam of the volcano, then put mud all over us, to wash up & dip in the warm pool waters heated by the volcano. Wonderful way to end the trip.

If you don't travel you have to! It's one thing I do for my own sanity & to explore the world. Next year who knows where we'll end up going, but I do know I'm excited for little trips around the U.S. throughout this year.

Hopefully this was a good way to come back to my blog. More to come this week, including pictures.

Talk to you all soon. Hope all is well.

xo's - Ahlexandria

Baby Bumps.

In the past month I took photos of two expecting mothers. One being the mother of my god child & the other being Jazz's best friend. I have to say with their ideas & just how easy going they were it definitely helped when shooting. I recently was the photographer at both of their baby showers last Saturday (April 28th). I was sooooo exhausted by the time I got into Brooklyn to see KD for her baby shower. She looked absolutely beautiful.

I wanted to share some of the photos. Below you will see two of the photos that were used & printed.

1) KD is the mother of my god-son. Her & I have known each other for a few years & we got the tattoo on our right middle finger together. Her attitude but loving nature is going to make her an awesome mom. She will be strict, but yet will spoil her child rotten.

2) Drea is very outgoing & sweet. It's her first child as well. She is expecting a little girl, hence the color of the flower (both shoots related to what they were having). I know she's very excited to see her daughter, so is her mother. We took this photo & printed it out in a 12x16 & framed is as a gift to her mother from Jazz & I.

I really just enjoyed taking photos. I loved that they wanted me to do it for them. I didn't need money for this, I did it as a gift & because it is something to ease my mind. Doing these shoots has made me send my camera in to get fixed & get ready for my venture at the end of this month. I wonder what wonderful photos will come home with me.

It's Sunday which means there's a long week ahead. Goals are set for the week & hopefully I can accomplish some. I am trying to get back on track with making cases, simple earrings & reading for school & the book club. Let's see how it all pans out.

See you Tuesday.

xo - Ahlexandria

Cuddled Up.

Unedited photo of Mizi cuddled next to me.

What better way than to update my week with a picture of my baby. She's such the mush I swear! Although absolutely crazy, she loves to cuddle & be around people. I never expected to have a love for a cat the way I do for her (with the exception of Hello Kitty lol).

I hope everyone's week went well for them & this upcoming week has a lot to offer, or you're offering a lot to yourself with the time you have. Things always seem to be hectic, but I'm finding ways to manage & improve. Always an obstacle, but I'm not giving up at all on myself. I continue to just try my best to look in a positive direction.

This week I plan on pulling out my camera to take some random photos & improve myself. Hopefully with this I can find my love for that art again. I also want to design some cases so I can get them up to sell. All the ideas that I have wondering in my brain just need to finally be released. There are several others DYI projects that I want to do for a relaxing, me time. Besides arts & crafts I am trying some cooking projects. I am going to see what kinds of salads I can make for under $10 (hopefully get 4-6 salads from it) & work on getting the DVD's I purchased in motion.

Sunday has been a good one. Relaxed, went to the movies to see '21 Jump Street' & got to eat a delicious antipasto salad from a favorite spot. Besides the insane amount of laughter that we all needed & the screwed up pancakes, Sunday was a good way to end the weekend.

Let's see what this week has in store, as well as my blog!

Happy reading.

- Ahlexandria.

Back From Hiatus?!

Mizi being the goddess that she believes she is on a Sunday.

Honestly who knows if I'm back completely, but I should be coming back. I have ideas, I have things I want to share, I just know that my personal blog (my .com) is what I loved updating & reaching out to everyone. If you've been following me on Twitter & Instagram (Ahlexandria) you'll know that I'm just randomly living & relaxing. As far as my .com goes it's definitely going to need to be bumped back up into my priorities & the goals I've set & wanted to share. I want it to be more personal. I'm trying to figure out days for just personal post, additional posts (ie: OOTD, WDYW, Features, Photos). I want a set day for each of the things, a weekly overview & then just a personal blog post day. I'm working on it, working on making my .com the best that it can be in my eyes.

I hope everyone is doing well. Remember that we all grow, we all learn & even though we take time away, we continue to just live life.

Talk to you Tuesday lovlies. <3

All About You!

Such a simple picture can mean so many things to the person who takes it. To me this shows my surrounds, my life that can ultimately change dynamics, it can come to a stand still. It involves emotions, my mind, my being. THIS IS THE CHALLENGE!


I was very happy with the four people that entered the last one, gave themselves something to look outside of the normal realm of the world. I really enjoyed picking out a word & seeing what people could come up with. It was so creative, I enjoyed everyone's so much that I gave them all a gift card for entering & the two winners a $10 gift card.

This photo challenge I wanted to get to know people more. As you can see I posted a picture that I took & gave a detail of how it describes me. Here are the RULES:

• Those who enter must take an original photo (any camera can be used).
• With that photo you must give me a few sentences on how it describes you.
• You must comment with your name, photo link, description +& a way to contact you.
• If you blog your entry please enter the link of the post in a comment below.

EXTRAS:

• If you blog about this challenge you get an additional +1 point.
• If you follow me on here publicly, Twitter, Tumblr +1/each.
• If you tweet about this challenge & @Ahlexandria along with it.

First place winner will get a $10 gift card to Amazon.Com.
Second place winner will get a random set of earrings I created.

*All entries must be entered by Sunday, March 4th at midnight. I will then announce who is the winner on Tuesday, March 6th's blog post.

GOOD LUCK! :]

Instagram'ing.

Temporary living room look. Nice to have it slightly done.

Can see that we're using our guest room as storage.

Mizi just relaxes around.

The lighting with the blinds closed in the room.

Some of Steff's birthday bottles.

The simple room I live in.

Mornings that I don't want to get out of bed.

Sunday's Curly Fro.

These are several photos that I've posted via Instagram in the past two weeks. As you can see we accomplished putting our sofa together for the living room & have it in the works, but decent enough to sit & relax in. Other things just shared about the apartment or random photos in general.

I should have been giving my body the rest that it's needed, but I've been just doing my normal day to day. I hate having to take time to get better, I just want to do what I have to. The problem with that is I have a weak immune system & by being sick & having this sickness, I won't be getting better unless I give my body that rest.

I hope everyone has been doing good. I also hope that you've been enjoying the features that I've been posting thus far. I still have plenty more to come, more people to send e-mails out to...be on the look out for that. Sharing what others do, or people that I enjoy reading or looking into, seems like the best way for others to know there's more out there then what they usually keep up on.

There's a challenge that I have set for this upcoming Tuesday. I hope that my readers are ready to join it. There is a prize involved with this challenge, so please be ready. :]

Enjoy your night ya'll. & 2 out of 5 starts to the Grammy's.

Slowly. . .

It's slowly coming together! As you all can see it's getting its own touch. There's more to add, things to hang up & this is just my room. Steff's room is coming along as well. We moved into here just saying lets take what we have & then gradually buy things that we need. That is exactly what we've been doing; IE: That futon that I had gotten when I moved into the old place is in her room with her furniture & it's still so relaxed. It made the setting in her room at such a high level. In my room I am trying to add some other items just to finish it up. Once we're done with our rooms we are going to focus on the living room, then the guest room/office & lastly the kitchen. I know the order seems weirds, but it's like buy something here, add it, get something for there, add it.

I love the fact that our apartment uses only two of the same colors but each room speaks volumes of it's own, makes you feel at ease in so many different ways. The dynamics of these rooms, sigh I love it!

I will continue to update everyone on how the apartment is looking. I know you saw it a week ago & above is what it looks like now. :) Two-thirds of the way there.

As for my "To Try" list, I am going to continue with the 5 photos a week, sending out e-mails for features. I also want to attempt to cook a new dish this week since we recently have gotten some items for our parents to help with cooking. I need to add one about the apartment, so...unpacking another 4 boxes. Lastly of my "To Try" list I am determined to make Steff's birthday in six days, AMAZING!

So much to do so much do - not to even mention new jewelry ideas that I am going to come out with & start selling in the next two-three weeks! =X

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

xo's.

3rd Sunday Of The Year.

Can you believe we are already into the third Sunday of the year!? To think that the holidays have already passed, the weather is actually getting to winter weather (at least here in NY/NJ) & you're slowly getting used to using 2012.

I am trying to get up with my blog like I said I would. I have been slacking though on my "Try List" only because things are slightly hectic at the moment. There will be more news to share in regards to it, but hopefully by February I will have everything ready. Besides one things I will share soon, the features I am trying to organize on my blog, the earrings I am going to create again, the list I am trying to follow, & my regular day to day things - it's seriously slightly hectic. lol.

Although I want to create another "Try List" for this week, I am going to continue with last week's. I want to try & complete things to the best of my ability & not 'half ass'. So hopefully the upcoming Sunday I can share other things that I have completed from that list.

I did start using my camera a bit more. If you follow my Tumblr you will see some of the random pictures I've taken. If you follow me on Twitter you will see more of a day to day with my Instagram posts. Either way, I have been trying to see the world in a different eye, not the bland views that many others see. I want to create an image from what people see normally, into my vision of beauty.

This week I picked the top pictures I believe I took:

Natural red colors. No edits on this photo.

The brush in Union Square, NYC. The cold chill that day.

Warped mind set. Messing with the camera.

Steffy's hair just slowing while using my 'fisheye' lens.

I know they're all a bit random, but it's random things that sometimes are intriguing.

Hopefully you all had a wonderful weekend. Let's see what I can get into this upcoming week. :)

Sunday.

If you've noticed I've been trying my best to keep up with my blog & add all varieties to reach out to all kinds of readers. It has been interesting trying to do a "365" blog, but I have decided to just have selected days of blogging. Every Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday I plan on having a blog posted. If I do blog other days they are extras, some exceptions.

I also will be trying to add more photography as well as going back into personal blogging this year. It's going to be a slight challenge, but my thoughts will go down more. I want to get to do some more features, or additional features with different questions to showcase; bloggers, artists, gurus & great people. It's always nice to network & get to know others. Why not pick selected people to go on your blog that others would be interested in?!

Did I mention I am going to continue posting about outfits that I throw together. Once again, I am NO fashionista...it is nice though to be able to see what someone can do with things & how they view clothes & styles. On top of it I do get great prices on the things I wear. IE:

Thursday: My super awesome navy Hello Kitty sweater I got for Christmas from Steffy I felt went well with my tweed tan shorts. I threw on some navy tights & my high tan boots Jazz gave me. Steffy also got me that awesome red bag from Old Navy & my mom got me my lovely watch.

Another thing I want to add is a weekly "try" list. Thanks to Brit & her idea of a "bucket list", I am going to create 5 things I want to try, do or even fulfill this week on Sundays. At the end of the week or the following Sunday (considering a Saturday post) I will tell you which one I chose to do & how it went.

"Try" List:

- Write down ideas for new jewelry.

- Read the next chapter of the school work.

- Complete a test for my school work.

- Eat veggies & drink water all day.

- Take the camera out & get 10 shots.

Lets see how it all turns out.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

! Create a "Try" list & let me know how it goes.

Two-Zero-Twelve

It's a new year & I haven't blogged in a month. Maybe because I have had no idea what to post about, or the fact that I was keeping myself slightly occupied.

Although it's a new year, I wouldn't say there is going to be a new me, but a growing, constantly learning, open minded individual. I want to learn more, achieve things I have in mind & get more involved with my blog. Although they are considered "resolutions" & it does seem easier to do starting the first day of the new year, I can't guarantee I won't be venturing off from time to time. The goals that I do have set up though, I wish to share on my blog & add more to my blog to keep my readers & dear friends interested.

With this being the ending of the holiday season, the start of a new year, it's important for me to thank all of you who have been there for me throughout the entire year, those of you who I have met who have been positive, & the important people who have stood by me. You should always be thankful for everything, every single day, but I had to emphasize it one more time that I am extremely grateful!

Along with wishing everyone a new year I wanted to share some of the goodies I received for the holiday.

Besides the lovely bags that my best friend Steffy got me, I also purchased a nice bag for myself. You can't go wrong with some new bags (although I recently found tons that I got while thrifting lol). Steffy also got me my new film camera in my favorite color. I am absolutely excited to get some photos done & framed with it. I purchased the film the other day but let me say it's slightly expensive. To add to my cameras & accessories I received a tripod from my darling Jazz. I am excited to be able to actually put my Canon back into works. I messed around with it the other day + I always use it to take photos on here. My mother is always making my pockets fatter for the holidays, hooked me up with cash to buy items that I recently purchased. My father got me a sound bar that is awesome too! It definitely projects the sound that I need for music, for movies, even just for the radio. I'm very happy with the items I received this holiday or gave to myself.

Hopefully I can get my ideas together & start posting more & also making them a reality. Bless you all for this year & remember don't ever stop growing. Growing is an important factor to life.

New Years 2012 Outfit: Laced top, pink pearl spaghetti strap, back laced stockings, high waste grey shorts & heels.

xo's - Ahlexandria