Relieved In A Way.

I feel some sense of relief. Although it may not have been the normal thing to do, I had to do it. I was holding it in for far to long, it wasn't letting me move on with my life. This grudge that I had let build up inside of me, letting it eat me - but for what?! This girl didn't do anything to me, because who am I to her?! I am a nobody. My ex though, she was someone important to me & for her to turn to her burned me. While trying to fix things with me, while trying to make things "better" between us, she runned to her because I couldn't find the way to give her all of me; the love, the attention, the comfort that she wanted because I was inflicted with all this pain that we had caused to one another.

It's sad. It honestly is that so many months later I still cry about it. I cry about things because I can't believe they happened, or that loving me wasn't enough. It held us there for so long, but on this thin thread that eventually tore apart. As hopeless as I was, & still am, I can't let my emotions for my ex make me hate this young girl. I can't hate either or them, I don't have the hate in me, I just rather share how I feel & hopefully with her understanding I can feel better.

This all seems crazy, all seems so odd for me to even mention, even to bring up to her. I had to though, I needed to get that sense of relief that I shared how I felt. Even if it comes from no where, out of the blue, I know it's what I needed to do (for myself mostly). She seems like a wonderful person, she's a great parent & she's intelligent. Someone so positive as that, my ex deserves in her life, deserves to make her happy! I only want the best for my ex, for anyone that has come into my life. & although the past can not be forgotten, I know I can move on with a clear mind & a less weighed down heart.

Hopefully what I needed to do has helped me.