"I want a roommate!"

I've been getting a lot of questions how to live with a roommate, how do I live with someone who is considered my best friend. Tons of people are considering moving out, finding a place with either their best friend, or renting a room from someone they know especially with September & college life. Let me just say no matter which you choose they are not easy.

Living on your own would seem like the simpler choice, but financially it might not be right or even some times just getting lonely. The perks of living on your own, solely you - it's your space, you only have to worry about yourself & if there's a mess it's yours & only yours. Now you would think, "Well that's the same case with roommates". Even with a friend or best friend, they can easily take advantage of it because they feel they can get over on you. Some times if you're going to live with someone, someone you don't know as well can be better to live with. So, no matter who you live with there has to be rules you agree upon prior to moving in. For example: Our rules were rotation of who takes out the trash, who washes the dishes depending on who cooks, cleaning once a week, no hair in the tub, toothpaste in the sink & splitting bills & food down the middle. The only way you can enforce these rules are by; constantly setting reminders & hope that the person/people you live with doesn't go back on what the priorities are for the home you both share, & respecting the agreement you came to with them from the beginning.

The problem a lot of times, more than most, people get too comfortable. One person can tackle more than one responsibility because the other person/people aren't holding their end of the deal. So chore charts are in place, or calenders to mark what was done. Once you see or just know your name is there all the time, then you have a choice to make. You can either reiterate the agreements, make changes, or do less of so the other person can step up. I personally just continue to do what I have to do for my home because at the end of the day it's where I live, & I benefit from it because it is me who will learn from everything. Laziness & being tired is understandable, but that constantly happening becomes an issue.

No matter what it is that you do; working, school, getting wasted - there is a responsibility that you signed yourself to,that you agreed to with someone. By not holding up your end, by slacking off all the time, by thinking someone is always going to do everything or cater to you, you are wrong. Eventually the person you live with will get fed up. There are tons of tips to living with people, great ones in fact (all websites listed below).

To anyone who is considering living with someone else, the people who keep asking me about it my word of advice is:

• Make sure there are rules set in place from the beginning.
• Make sure the rules are followed through the entire time.
• Sit down & talk about: how things are going at work, home & life.
• Keeping an open form of communication.
• Don't do more than your share especially if the other person doesn't care.
• Make sure the bills are paid on time between all parties.
• If bills aren't paid on time make sure it is made up for some how.
• Don't let anyone take advantage of you.
• Living with friends can possibly ruin your friendship.
• Some times you have to think to just do for yourself.
• Make an example & if that is not enough, leave it to them to learn.
• Set up goals for your home that you all agree upon.
• Remind your roommate/yourself of the agreements from the beginning.
• If things get hard say it.
• If you need help with things & they're too "blind" leave them a note or say so.
• Do not let anyone borrow anything without knowing it will be returned.
• If everything is divided equally, make sure it's paid at the same time.

There's probably a whole list more but these websites can definitely help.

1. Roommate Survival Guide
2. Tips & Tricks for Living With Roommates
3. Surviving Your Roommate/Surviving Yourself

Good luck!
- Ahlexandria

All of this is from experience from living with people, friends from my Mom's home (renters & friends), to staying with people, to living with a person I was with, to my apartment now.